The first blog is the hardest. (Sing that to the tune of a Sheryl Crow song.) And don’t get me wrong, I love to talk/write/express myself in any form. . . . but where to start?
The beginning, I guess. I’m going to be spending this June and July in Peru as a summer missionary. The SC BCM, who are sponsoring my trip, asked me to start up this prayer blog. So here I am.
But that’s not the beginning. At the heart of it all, over the years I’ve developed a love for language, which developed into a love of all things foreign, which developed into a love for the people of the world. It’s funny how such a small seed can grow into the largest of trees. In the eighth grade, I didn’t know that my interest in foreign music and Italian Josh Groban songs would come to this. (And this is certainly not the end.) For the first time I went on a mission trip to Peru with my home church last June. I was excited about everything, about speaking spanish, about diving into another culture, about showing God’s love to Peruvians. And God didn’t disappoint me. It was a wonderful experience, and somehow I just knew that I wasn’t done in Peru. So when this year’s trip came around, I knew it was what I was meant for. So here I am, (as Kahlil Gibran says,) “a leaf in God’s forest, a breath in God’s sphere,” just trying my hardest to be the small part that reflects the whole–like this leaf:
The Peepul Tree is said to be so perfect that its silhouette against the sky is reflected in the shape and structure of an individual leaf. While a leaf will never have the presence, the majesty, or the autonomy of a living and thriving tree, still it mimics its source.
A leaf should never fool itself into thinking it’s a tree. A leaf should never forget that its life source is the very branch to which it clings. For what are leaves but temporary and fragile decoration, which fall away and are replaced with the seasons? And what is a leaf’s purpose? What can a leaf aspire to but merely mimicking and reflecting the beauty of the tree, changing in the seasons of its life?
Of all that I’ve seen God do this year, mainly I can say that I’ve been humbled. I’m just a stupid, fragile, temporary leaf, a reciever of life, a reciever of everything. Because when it comes down to it, a tree doesn’t need a leaf. But a leaf without a tree is dead, crushed underfoot, raked up and burned. It’s not about me, my comfort, or even what I do in Peru. It’s about the source of my life, firmly rooted and unmoving, beautiful and outlasting anything I may do this summer, anything I may do my whole life long.
If you want to start praying for me, pray that I won’t lose sight of this while swamped in all the details. Pray that I’ll be constantly reminded of how big God is. Lastly, pray that I won’t lose sight of the present season while waiting for the summer to arrive. My life is as fragile as a leaf and as fleeting as a breath and I don’t have time to be wasting.