Hope is January white.

Feliz Año Nuevo!

2011 is now officially over. It was a full year.

It was full of accomplishments and endings and goodbyes. It was full of pain. But it was the good kind of pain that means I worked and loved and laid down roots and I am reminded that a painful goodbye is worth it for all of the memories that precede it. I learned the difference between loving someone for who they are and loving someone for what they do for you or give to you (which is nothing but love of self.) And that truly loving people means hurting every now and then, plain and simple. But oh, it’s worth it.

It’s true, 2011 was a year of endings. But 2012 will be a year of beginnings, of new things, of culture shock and awkward situations. I really can’t wait.

Do I have any New Year’s Resolutions? I’m so glad you asked!

There are the measurable, straightforward ones. I’m going to improve my Spanish and read the Bible through in 2012 as well as continue to chronicle the coming year of change in my journal. But those are the boring, routine things that aren’t worth blogging about.

My real New Year’s Resolution is to FALL MADLY IN LOVE. Dr Lincoln preached a sermon a few months ago in which he said, “Many people fail at life because they never fall in love with anything.”

So this year, I want to fall in love with . . . yeah, you guessed it: with Jesus. He won’t be changing or going anywhere and Lord knows I need some stability these days. I do love him, but I want to be less cautious about it, less quiet, less awkward. And not awkward in the other-people-think-I’m-awkward sense, more like the poor-communication awkwardness. I want to start living like I know the veil has been torn, holding nothing back. No barriers. I’m ready to be wounded by love, over and over and over again if he wants. Because I love him for who he is and not what he does for me. Oh, it’s worth it.

I’ve got just a couple more weeks with friends and family before I head off to Field Personnel Orientation, where I hope to make a whole new set of friends for the journey ahead, the first new beginning of many. As always, I’ll keep you posted! In the mean time, listen to this:

 

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